You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
