I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
