oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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