the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
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