..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
