I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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