It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
