i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
