sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
