Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
