Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
