Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
