i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
