it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
