fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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