You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
