I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
