oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
