in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
