that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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