the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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