we were pretty classy up until the second keg
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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