Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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