Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
