my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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