it was like eating out sand paper
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
