your thong is hanging out like whoa
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
