This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
