I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
