I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
