Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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