FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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