I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I did not marry a roomba.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
