Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
