Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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