Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
