Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
