You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
