Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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