we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
