Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We talked him into tasing himself.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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