i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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