I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
