I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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