Even my vagina gasped.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
