nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
