i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
