will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
