Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
