Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
