Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
you never un-have a 4some
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
