You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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