He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
