Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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