11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
