you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize