I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize