I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
