She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
