I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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