drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
