he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Will exercising make me less horny?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize