Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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