I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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