Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
